閃光彈.

每當你覺得他們的閃光彈討厭的時候(註: 不是煩厭/肉麻/無奈, 而是討厭), 便是你潛意識提醒自己還喜歡著那人的時候. (though sometimes it's your consciousness rather than subconsciousness...)

you know what I'm talking about. don't deny it, don't even try.

every single time when you see them together, exchanging looks, wrapped around each other, you feel like dying all over again. as if the moment when you found out they were together didn't already kill you. perhaps you just had to discover novel ways of dying, and new adjectives to describe the torment you go through every time they unknowingly display intimacy of any kind.

oh dear. and it makes you weaker and weaker, time after time. you become so fragile, too fragile to look for someone new, someone to "shine" with you. you are now unable to shine on your own, yet refuse to let others come up to you and shine with/for you, because you are afraid to reveal your frailty.

討厭的閃光彈. I hate you.

there are moments when I don't know if it's real
or if anybody feels the way I feel...

parce que le temps peut mettre en cage
nos rêves et nos envies
je fais mes choix et mes voyages
parfois j'en paye le prix
la vie me sourie ou me blesse
quelle que soit ma vie
je ne vous oublie pas, non, jamais

//

because time can cage
our dreams and wishes
i make my choices and journeys
(and) sometimes i pay the price
life smiles at me or hurts me
(but) whatever my life is
i will not forget you, no, never

when people say honesty can be brutal (at times), we actually know that sweet lies do a lot more damage (in the aftermath, of course)

it's like, how should it put it.. hm.

外傷與內傷的分別, 你懂吧. 我是指武俠小說那種. 或甚至是中毒, 但有潛伏期, 一旦發作便一發不可收拾.

外傷. 是皮肉受到重搥出擊, 你多數可以看見別人出招, 亦會感覺到即時的痛楚. (adrenaline aside) 及後身體會有明顯的傷痕, 瘀處. 若非太嚴重, 多數會自己復原, 只是康復時間有長有短. 有時會留下疤痕, 多數後遺症不太多. (unless serious 到要物理治療)

內傷. 即傷及五臟六腑, 可能有內出血情況, 血氣不順, 經脈會紊亂. 可能是被別人內功所震傷, 或下毒所致. 難以自己復原, 除非懂得運功療傷. 多數需要外在的治療, 食療, 如其他人給運功療傷, 吃解藥/大還丹之類. 復原過程較慢, 即使康復後仍會元氣大傷, 需要長時間調理身體.

LOL 其實唔知點解突然會有此類比, 可能甚至不太accurate. suddenly 有感而發掛. *shrugs*

honesty can be brutal, but i'd rather take the risk and endure the pain. perhaps that'll teach me to be stronger.

fight on*