日復日, 年復年

花開花落

落水無情

RIP Dietrich Fischer-Dieskau
101 years after Mahler

when you thought i'm still the same me.
when you thought i changed.
when you thought you knew me, knew what i think.

pause.

actually you don't really know me that well.
and i don't really know you.

reality.

grow up.

i've got one last chance to get myself together

i have nothing and everything to lose

now or never.

dear.

after months and months and months of struggling, i FINALLY submitted my online application for city u of london. and now, as i wait for notifications on the next steps to take, must prepare for recording...

should be a relief, yet i feel like i am on the verge of a nervous break down. i hope i won't. really can't afford to lose anymore time.

i have wasted too much time. and im only just starting to get things straightened out.

tension. one month to release.

You seem so afraid, afraid you’ll regret
Regret getting closer and connected to me
And I feel like that too but I’m scared
Scared you’ll leave while you still feel you can
.....
...
..
....
......
Fear, it has its place folded in squares
Squarely tucked in the back pocket of our minds
.............
.......
.....................
...............

i stare into the endless skies.
i am of the world.
i wish i were from the stars. i wish.
the world is insufficient.

God's grace is enough.
i am smaller than a grain of sand
and yet the apple of His eye

dropped my pair of glasses on the floor tonight. it became crooked. there is no way for me to repair it on my own. is it a sign? its been a bit more than 2 years.
luckily i have my old pair of glasses with me at hua lien. its fine, with a slight difference in degrees and focus.
i got a suggestion in wearing my contact lenses but i just want to stick to plain old glasses.
planning to go to fix glasses tmr, but will most probably get a new pair.

as i come to think of it, its sort of symbolic isn't it?
somethings, you just can't fix them by yourself. you will always need help. or are they irreversible?
somethings, you thought you could return to it, turn the situation around, but its always gonna be different. its never the same.
sometimes you refuse to change and are always stubborn as usual. the inertia.
sometimes, you just need a brand new start. but isnt it also the end of something?

haha舊年第一晚住番宿都是13/14號交接...

情人節對於獨身的人來說

自有它獨特的味道...

the silence.

對, 是華連. 可惜不再是311.

頭痛. 要睡了.

dizzy. physically and mentally.
headache.
pain.
inability to focus, need sleep.