別有幽愁暗恨生，此時無聲勝有聲

無聲

無聲...

stroke, 中風是也

大概冇預計到身邊咁快會有人中風, I mean someone who is like family to me. actually, she is family.

our family maid of 22 years.

暫時只知左腦出血, 屬輕微中風(?), 未知要否做手術

由去睇醫生, 佢頭暈+嘔x2, 到跟佢上白車去QE, 係醫院等, 我都還算冷靜

但到離開醫院時先發覺自己有幾驚

忍不住, 哭了

一方面擔心, 一方面覺得好helpless

:'(

同埋冇心情真係會唔肚餓. 不過我都會照食飯.

要感恩的話, 就係好彩父母今晚都冇野忙, 我本來有約又俾人放飛機, 而且冇拎到架車去整...

天父, 我向你呼求. Almighty Father, I know You hold her in the palm of Your hands. please heal her and comfort her. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

post it.

it is such a marvellous invention. convenient, always there when you need it, and easy to peel off when you're done with it.

I remember watching a Taiwanese tv drama in which the main actress describes herself as a 'post it' girl, 便利貼女孩. but I'm not going to discuss about that.

anyway, for a person as forgetful as I am, post its are just the thing I need. something I could write on and then stick on to the most obvious places, so that I won't miss out on any important or unimportant thing to do.

and then I think about this little quiet blog I have in one of the corners of the internet. my posts. I post them. I post IT.

it's like I'm supposed to do something else but then I avoid doing the proper thing, and so I tell myself:

"I'll do (whatever) after I finish my entry of the day and POST IT."

haha what a wunderbar way to shirk lol

okie now I'm done I'm gonna... yea you got it

post it.

一葉輕舟去，人隔萬重山...

人生如朝露，何處無離散，今宵人惜別，相會夢魂間...

流水落花春去也，天上人間

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點滴在心頭

I am drifting down my stream of thought, to where? to where?

to where you are -- josh groban

it's getting more and more dry these days.

盼望有番D滋潤.

噢.

to infinity and beyond... beyond my reach actually.. far, far beyond!

well, what I'm trying to say is, I've been twisting and turning in a space that's too small.

and fear has it's place folded in squares, safely tucked in the back pockets of our minds.

yes. I'm quoting James Morrison and Teddy Geiger. lol

think I always knew deep in my heart that it'll never happen. and I've always had my head in the clouds. need to sink back into reality, kiddo.

重新出發?

I've been living with a shadow overhead, I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed...

I need inspiration, not just another negotiation...

all I wanna do is find a way back into love

what's your unhealthy habit? I'm sure everyone has at least one or two such habits.

mine? it's no secret. every night before I go to bed, I think about you. well, to be absolutely fair, it's more like an unconscious habit I've developed in these few months. and then I dream about you. not all the time, but not infrequently.

of course, you are not my world. you are not my everything. you are just, you.

I used to spend this time thinking about other people. days, weeks, months, or even years I have wasted away on this unproductive nothingness. it consumed me. and then when the time came, you were there, lingering in my thoughts. I need you to go away, but I don't want you to leave.

and so I took off. I escaped. I'm not close to you anymore. you won't turn your eyes to me. you never do. yet mine are still looking upon you, more closely than ever. I feel like a peeping tom, prying into others' lives.

how can I stop doing so? or should I just come out of the dark and let you see me, see who I really am?

遲了兩天post

James Morrison's Six Weeks

six weeks since I let you go
and I still feel the same
hard to believe that a feeling this strong
will ever really change

I hold my head up steady
both hands heavy
oh just like the sky
it's so full of tears
waiting to cry

well this whole song is actually dedicated to his late father, but then if we only look at the first two stanzas, it could be any song of farewell. and I feel I'm still holding on. I can't let you go. you have been there for six weeks la (actually a bit more than). I told myself after these six weeks, if nothing had happened, nothing will ever happen.

sad.

anyway here I am now. I am here.

it's good to be home. I guess.

要走的總要走. 即使有多麼的不捨, 多麼的不願意, 那時間總會來臨.

the time has come for me to go back.

I guess, just as the song goes, que sara, sara. what will be will be.

some of you may know I dream a lot. literally. however there are dreams that can only be dreams.

此美夢永遠藏於心底...

誰能代替你地位?

1.

blessed day.

retreat. rejuvenating. awakening.

haha interesting how I began my journey with I Will Be True, and then end with the same hymn. oh Lord, guide me.

I serve Thee with gratitude. I wish to continue when I'm back to HK.

am I really leaving so soon? this feeling is too surreal. less than 48 hours left.

it was out of my expectation that so many people were able to attend my farewell dinner/dessert. it's been lovely to see you, you and you.

miss you. miss you. miss youuuuuuuu.

hmm.

2.